Does Internet Dating Work?
by: Kathryn Lord
Whatís the Number One Question that Everyone Asks About CyberDating?
Everyone -- and that included YOU! -- wants to know: "Does Internet Dating Work?"
Well, I KNOW it works, and in the best possible way, because I met my husband Drew on Match.com in May 1998. And I know others who have met their True Love that way, too. (I'm collecting stories of Internet True Romance, if you know of a couple that met that way -- email me at Kathryn@Find-A-Sweetheart.com and tell me all about it!)
But what about for you? Will it work for YOU???
Kathryn B. Lord c. 2003 All Rights Reserved
No one wants to get their hopes up and then be disappointed, do they? If this is "not going to work," then why try?
Sounds like a good reason not to do anything, doesn't it? Because even though CyberDating most definitely worked for me, I can't guarantee that it will "work" for you. Too many variables, the biggest of which is you -- your own fears and how far you are willing to go.
Letís look at this question from a more logical place.
What have you been doing, other than posting on an Internet Dating site, about finding a mate? And how is that working for you?
Either you have been doing something (singles events, letís say, or trying to let others know that you are interested) or you have been doing nothing. "Something" is more likely to have results than "nothing," but neither have "worked" in that you haven't gotten a mate yet, or you wouldn't be asking the question "Does Internet dating work?"
So letís redefine "work." What Internet dating does better than any other method I know is that it exposes you to a very large group of other singles and helps you sort them into the likeliest category for potential partnerhood with you. How well does "doing nothing" compare with that? For that matter, how well does "doing something" other than Internet dating compare?
I've had clients who loudly complain that Internet dating is not working for them, when they have, at the same time, been carrying on several correspondences with possible mate candidates and have met and screened several others, all in a few weeksí time. How can they say that Internet dating does not work???
I can't answer the question "Does Internet dating work?" ANY other way than with a resounding "YES!!!" It works by getting you the best possible exposure to the most potential partners.
Now what you DO with that exposure is up to you -- thatís where your "work" comes in. Many, many factors come into play -- your relative receptiveness to a new relationship, the kind of barriers you may put in the way, your skills or the lack of them in presenting yourself and relating to other. All those and more are part of the "work" that needs to happen to transform potential mates into actual ones.
And thatís YOUR "work" -- so the question becomes "Can I do the work that needs to happen to find a mate and develop a lasting relationship?"
Thatís the RIGHT question. Itís a big one, and if you have been long frustrated in your efforts, maybe getting a Romance Coach could help.
Getting a Romance Coach is unlikely to make your situation worse. And who knows? It just might work!
Kathryn Lord © 2004 All Rights Reserved
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